Periodic Table Soap
$7.50
via (Amazon)

Periodic Table Soaps. The Radioactive elements actually glow in the dark!

Middle Class Problems Book
$7.58
via (Amazon)

Real problems, but not real actual problems, just middle class ones. A book full of tragic inconveniences.

Sponsored By:
Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.Ron Swanson
Effing Soap
$12.19
via (Firebox)

A fragrant reminder to start every morning with a F*CK

Human Organ Lunchbox
$15
via (Amazon)

This insulated tote will keep your precious ham sandwich chilled, prepped, and ready to transplant right into your waiting stomach!

The Lap Mug
$14.95
via (Amazon)

A mug designed around your body rather than the table.

No Kids Sticker Figure Family
$5.45
via (Amazon)

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Ask your doctor today about ‘Not Having Kids’: an alternative to ‘Having Kids’!

50 Ways to Eat Cock
$13.46
via (Amazon)

Mouthwatering rooster recipes for the imaginative cook. Now you can hold the power of cock in your hands!

Poo-Dough
$9.99
via (Amazon)

Make and shape your own poo with Poo-Dough! Even create corn and peanut accessories!

Awkward Valentine
$4.50
via (Etsy)

It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t mean anything. There isn’t even a heart on it. Forget it.

Sponsored By:
The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer’s teat until they have sore, chapped nipples.Ron Swanson
Star Wars Thumb Wrestling
$10.21
via (Amazon)

This Star Wars game in a book provides hours of fun for thumb-wrestling masters or their apprentices.

Zombie Combat Field Guide
$8.49
via (Amazon)

The Zombie Combat Manual provided potential zombie fighters with comprehensive instructions on how to do battle in the inevitable outbreak of an undead plague.

Handicorn
$4.76
via (McPhee)

Handicorn will transform your former fist into the ultimate unicorn!

iPhone Shoes
$4.48
via (Amazon)

It is not only a Data Cable Dust Plug, but also a very cute creative iPhone stand.

Edible Eyes
$13.99
via (Amazon)

Anthropomorphize your favorite snacks with these stick on Edible Eyes! Everything is tastier with a face 🙂

Crafting With Cat Hair Book
$10.23
via (Amazon)

Crafting with Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts.

Get The Hint Sticky Notes
$5.54
via (Amazon)

Sometimes a little profanity is the only way to get your point across.